Walter Deemer's Joke Of The Month -- November, 2004
After watching chicken sales falling off for three straight months, Frank Perdue calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
Perdue says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 million dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words."
So Perdue hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, Perdue panics, and calls again.
"Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you 50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Mr. Perdue. The church could do a
lot with that much money. It would help to pay many of our legal judgments. But,
again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."
So Perdue gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales he gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that Frank Perdue is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
-- Adapted by Bill Loviska from The Leuthold Group's Green Book
Last Month's Joke Of The Month
The 1996 Joke Of The Year
The 1995 Joke Of The Year
(Sorry, folks; we haven't heard anything that even comes close to these
two classics lately...)
Heard a REALLY good one lately? Send it to us at walter@walterdeemer.com;
maybe you'll get our next "Joke of the Month" award!
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